Tagged with maturity

barefoot in the park

There’s nothing that nudges me back to the blogosphere than running into a couple of people I’ve never met who say they read my blog and really enjoyreading it. So, I tip my figurative hat to you two ladies and, alas, here I am.

It’s been an exciting and enjoyable day. I have started week 2 of my fall classes (toward my Counseling Psychology degree). Tuesdays I walk to school (around 6 miles roundtrip) in girly shoes, that is, not Seattle trekking shoes. This inevitably means I start and end the day with blisters that encompass my entire heel. What can I say, I care about fashion over function sometimes.

This year I have a handy-dandy little iPad, which means there is NO excuse to take my laptop. Consequently, I end up filling that hole in my satchel with more library books. Classes were good. Dan Allender is Dan Allender. Go figure. I both appreciate him more and much more easily dismiss him this time around—and I mean that in a good way.

One of the books I used to fill that hole in my bag is called, Glimpses of Grace by Madeleine L’engle. I have hoped to find an e-version of this book, but it doesn’t exist. Yet. My search for this book began with a generic search for a devotional, meditative, or spiritually centering resource for the—how to say it—middle-aged Christian woman? I specifically wanted to avoid (although they can be great and effective for their intended audience) the Christianese books, the over-zealous transcendent abstraction of the spiritual life. I wanted…well, I wanted something almost boring. Not calling me out or up toward some way of being outside of me. Rather, a voice that settles me in my own skin and location—in its quietness and simplicity, draws me into my body, my self, my feet, the ground I’m standing on, the feeling of the keys on my fingertips as I type.

There seems to be very little on the “Inspirational,” or “Christian Inspiration” bookshelves geared toward someone like me—a woman on the verge of 30 who might actually want to be 30 (instead of a perpetual twenty-something). Celtic spirituality refers to this next phase in a woman’s life: the stage of the mother (preceded by the virgin and followed by the crone or widow). (I’ll write more on celtic spirituality as these three stages seem to come to mind often.)

Back to today. L’engle’s “glimpse” for the day was about work, play and presence. A child, she says, works very hard at playing. She’s entirely focused on it, so much so she becomes unabashedly playful. As adults, we split work from play, such that we don’t enjoy our work and we only half-ass our play.

On my walk home from school, I am feeling dehydrated from not drinking any water all day. I’ve been walking through downtown Seattle traffic, breathing in the ever-so-fragrant smog of cars. I’m sweating in very unladylike places. My feet are dry, splitting and blistered in several different places. I have a mile or so left.

And then I see these little fountains of water shooting up out of cement at the South Lake Union urban park. My mind sparkles with the image of running through the fountains. Quickly, I shoot it down. No, I should get back. My feet would be wet and they’d have to dry and then I’m getting hungry too, etc. Still, hmmm… Game time decision, I turn sharply toward the fountains, drop my bag, slip my shoes off (carefully, as not to puncture the enlarged blisters), and sink into the stream of the cool water.

All I know is, a couple minutes later I am aware that my skirt is almost entirely soaked, my shirt has several wet spots, got some drops on my glasses, and I’m wearing a large smile, giggling internally (maybe externally too?).

One of the kids who’d been playing further down has joined me.

Ah, yes, this is play….

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Combating Divisions of Body, Mind & Soul

As I begin to think around my thesis for a year-long paper on human wholeness, I feel within myself great resistance to addressing the human being as a being, three in one: mind, body, and spirit. In continuing to address these three categories as such, I feel I only perpetuate the language of a divided self even if my intentions are just the opposite. We are quite competent at acknowledging the three, but we fall short in integrating them together into one—the human being (male/female).

In one of my recent classes which happens to revolve around everything food, we found a few words that continued to fall to the forefront of our conversations: desire, practice and reflection.

Or rather more aptly,

Desire  {Reflection}  Practice

If I could draw arrows going from desire to practice and practice back to desire, I would. In other words, these (desire and practice) I see as symbiotically related through the process of reflection (or lack of reflection). In thinking further about these realities of life, I see potential in these as avenues into which we may nurture and engage human beings towards wholeness and maturity. In lieu of the traditionally platonic categories of mind, body and soul, I wonder how we might engage each other in terms of desire, practice and reflection.

Not that these would become new categories of a human being, but that these might provide a new language through which we consider the human being and a collective humanity. Asking about desire and practices invites the whole being to respond—not just one of the three, but the three in one.

Can this be a way of conceiving human wholeness?

The way of desire, practice and reflection. Becoming human beings with whom our practices align with our desires (our “subtle, inner pleasures”) through our own reflection. And, collectively, can we be a society who is actively participating in an ethos (practices) that aligns with collectively acknowledged desires. The reflection piece is crucial individually and collectively because without reflection we remain in an adolescent or infantile state in which desires are more like cravings and practices are done because our “father” told us to. Without reflection, there is either free reign of cravings and superficial desires and/or there is a robotic,  participation in a system that has lost all meaning. What I’m describing here is the infant/adolescent stage in life.

Maturity calls us to something more. It calls us to know (feel, experience, articulate) the deeper desires within us. It also calls us to live (consciously act) in a manner in which we honor these desires. Maturity also recognizes other human beings and creation at large, considering not only one’s own individual desires/practices but engaging the desires/practices of the whole of creation.

More thoughts to come regarding wholeness, and, as always, your thoughts are welcome.

Image {Nicolai Larin, Getty Images}

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